Thank You So Much

SHOUT OUT TO ALL KICKSTARTER DONORS

WITH A BRIEF QUIP ABOUT THEIR LIFE

A VIDEO OF GRATITUDE TO BE POSTED SOON ALSO

(THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!)

Steven Mentzel – Renowned shrimp collector in the Florida Keys

Heather Elizabeth – Creator of the “monkey helmet”: a helmet for disabled or drunk monkeys

Walker Lukens – Shot Hitler in the face & later someone dressed as Hitler at a party

Sarah Simmons – Beatboxes for classical musicians and the deaf every Tuesday downtown

Lindsey West – Known as the “Ice Cream-Melting Variety Queen” (sits on ice cream)

Lauren Shekari -- Proprietor of the first business to sell absolutely nothing. Was met with tremendous success according to Us Weekly

Jordan Beadling – Once sleepwalked all the way to Torchy’s Tacos & ordered exactly 1,000 items

Austin Jordan – A really really good smelling dude. Just fantastic

Tina Deljavan – Once was rich, but donated all money to a cause legalizing the selling of seashells by the seashore—unaware that it was already legal

Andrew Walters – Took time away from dressing up all 18 of his cats like various historical military generals and princesses to donate, and we appreciate it

Monica Jones – Has worked for a variety of wizards

Cullen – What can be said about Cullen that wasn’t already said in Norway upon his being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?

Charles Martin – Once an esteemed author of novels on social theory, politics and existentialism, he quickly learned that people are mostly just interested in poop and farts. Finally achieved fame for his book “Poo Poo, Doo Doo and Farts in the 21^st Century,” which mostly contains pictures and illustrations.

Kaiti – Beautiful Oprah Winfrey look-alike

Michele Cummins – First woman to stroll down Congress Street while reciting poems about blackbirds and the various ways they are perceived

Kate Cleary – First person to recognize the powerful signaling abilities of smoke

Alexandra Florimonte – The first blind film critic. Now writes for The Austin Chronicle.

Ashley Wallingford – Nicest person to ever murder another person in their sleep

Kate Labouisse – The first person to stick an Indian head penny in a light socket & cackle

Ginger Buschardt – Elephant-trainer who took time away from India to donate

Ryan Meeker – Finder of all things that are lost

Dave Ross – Genghis Khan look-alike based in Las Vegas

Milo Harkness-Smith – Shark attack enthusiast

Mathew Ortiz – Once told Justin and I while drunk, “Ya see….uh….the thing about that thing….is….uhh…that..um….yer gonna have a president…..I mean…nobody is uh…debatin’ that…..but my point is that I’m gettin’ at is….hey…uh…did everyone eat all those Cheetos….or what do you call them things……oh cheat...cheat toes....cheat toeeueees....words man......I mean....man….I miss that one girl I dated in college….I mean…we never ‘really’ dated…but….”

Michelle Serrano – Sells spiritual donuts on the east side of Austin, TX

David Mosser – Taught a course on how to eat food and drink water without shame

Vanessa Cabrales – Carnivorous Vegetarian & Violent Pacifist

Melanie Robins – Creator of the hit MTV series “A Couple of Idiots and Three Morons Living in a House & Acting Like Themselves”

Randy J. Smale – Has been on a metaphysical journey to find the last remaining dodo bird for the past fourteen years after seeing it in a dream

Philip LaRocca – The only other project he has raised money for is the KKK

Julia Jonas – Used to sell hot dogs from her pocket in New Hampshire (now a doctor)

Chris Trew – The first person to truly love a woman for who she is, including her feet

Nancy Rosenthal – Known for journeying to the center of the earth & saying, “This is ok, but I kinda wish I’d just stayed home and eaten a burger”

Brock LaBorde – The reincarnation of a cat that belonged to a dude who liked to fish

Jonathan Evans – Laughs from inside boxes regularly (& unapologetically)

Paul Henry – Famous for his compelling paintings of coffee at different distances. His two most iconic pieces reveal both the perspectives of a latte at the microscopic level & a shot of espresso from miles above in an airplane

Jodi Cummins – Was once baked into a giant loaf of bread to protest carbohydrates

Robert Segovia – Inventor of “the dog saddle,” which is nothing like what it sounds

Tim LaPrade – Lover of the color blue, but cannot legally marry it yet

Lindsay Harris – Collects grease in cups and jars to mail to the IRS

Amy Dunn – A strong proponent of the idea that laughter is NOT the best medicine; rather, actual medicine is the best medicine

Suzanne Link – Wrote a book called “History’s Future” in an unknown language

Kyle June Williams – Day job is getting clams and oysters to fart (bottom burper)

Eritira Pitts – Inventor of the tablespoon

Megan Keate – Born in a swamp

Angela – Entirely dinosaur

Joseph Meissner – A weasel dangler. He dangles weasels

Joel Flachsbart – Does a beautiful impression of a banana pancake

Matt Catalano – Septic Tank Designer

Chris Nungary – Dresses up like Principals he had at schools growing up in order to scare children

Avery Elander – Fell into a well in Kentucky and never escaped

Pierce Smale – First person to turn down an offer from NASA to go to the moon (because he “just bought a bean bag chair”)

Jared Gore – Lived in the woods and is now made of wood

Bradford Catalano – Submarine driver and local founder of Fathers Against Submarine Tragedies Going All Year (FASTGAY)

Adam Conner – Took time away from running for president of Paraguay to contribute, and we appreciate it

Jana – Drives around Austin, TX handing out Jack-in-the-boxes while saying, “Life is full of surprises”

Maia Assaf – Once used clay and food color to make her face look like Herbert Hoover to attempt to get into a White House Press Conference in 2003

CJ Hunt – Star of the late night CBS special “Veronica’s Butthole”

Ashdin Medhora – Felt the turd tremors of a butt trumpet and answered the call of the wild burrito by letting out a butt bazooka inside a K-Mart

Jason Williams – Trained a monkey to both sail an old ship he inherited & drive a jeep for which he no longer cared. The results were poetic but devastating

Kay Trapp – Understood quantum mechanics prior to Einstein. Famous for the quote, “Einstein is stupid”

Chris Nicholas – Goes by “Poo Pappy” or “Poo Daddy,” but never had children

Harper Ewing – The first person to marry a cat, only to immediately divorce her “due to the claws & seeming to not care”

Jason Mellard – Wrote a blues song about how happy he is about life and the strong communication skills that have been exhibited in his relationships with women

Alexandra – Constructs nativity scenes at Christmas using only found snails (for kids)

Sasha Tollette – Born with gills in East Germany. Allows her to play Marco Polo for days at a time

Chris Nordahl – Half wolf, but acts more like half fox

Lauren J – Famous for designing the only rollercoaster with toilets installed in the seats

Mary Beadling – UFO photographer who thinks we should build a wall in the sky to keep the aliens out

Mathew Squires – Mails empty boxes of cookies to ex-girlfriends

Annie Gerson – Prefers to have life details remain private (a heroin addict)

Mathew Pascual – The first person to express their love for someone by spray-painting “I love” followed by the beloved’s name on the side of an overpass

Laura Marguilies – Has studied the languages of whales and dolphins, but only knows how to say the curse words

Lindsey Miller – Exercised her meat nozzle once by accidently releasing an air biscuit of brown thunder in front of Yoko Ono while working with her

Austin Waters – Goes canoeing with Gary Busey and is forced to administer CPR every single time

Mike Breese – Raises pit-bulls and teaches them karate both for entertainment and protection of his diamonds

Nathan Takase – Famous for his attempt to bridge the polar political gap when running for office following the BP disaster by taking a neutral stance. Quoted as saying, “Oil spills are less than great, but better than worst & it’s hard to judge one way or ‘tother. Mark my words: all of the oil spills that have happened did so at locations, and those are the facts. If I saw an oil spill, I’d be inclined to say aloud, ‘that is an oil spill that just happened.’ I promise you that that is how I would feel.”

Mike Spara – Shiny and full of Indiana Jones quotes

THANKS AGAIN EVERYBODY!

A VIDEO WITH YOUR NAME IN IT WILL SOON BE RELEASED!